Love Hurts

It's a shame that the internet is a virtual medium, because there are a lot of people out there that I'd like to express my deep feelings of friendship to, and having spent the last two years here in Serbia, I'd like to do it in a truly Serbian way.

You see here, we don't just pour out our innermost thoughts on paper. We don't sit someone down after a night drinking one or two too many rakijas, and tell them that they're our very best friend. The custom here it seems is to prove just how much someone means to one in a much more physical way.

Serbian Infrastructure Minister Milutin Mrkonjic demonstrated just how much journalist Milan Ladjevic, a writer from the tabloid Kurir, meant to him earlier this week when he delivered what he called a “gesture of personal affection” right around the journalist's chops.

Mrkonic “gently stroked him on the head” following a meeting of the parliamentary transport committee last Tuesday.

Kurir's view of the incident is, you might know, a little different to Mr. Mrkonjic's.

But taking a cue from one of the government's leaders, there are a number of people and organisation's that, should I meet them in the real world, I would like to express my deep kinship with:

I have long felt the need to develop a greater and more meaningful kinship with my neighbour whose pack of barking dogs help me to to stay awake at night. Unfortunately, high walls and the fact that his slathering wild-eyed hounds are loose in the grounds of his house, mean that to date I have been unable to do so.

For some time now I have been considering making friends with the parents from a nearby school who park in front of my garage whilst they drop their little darlings off. I am most grateful to them for the opportunity that they give me to increase my personal fitness levels by ensuring that I have to walk my child to school.

But above all others, when I finally get all my friends together, the first invitation I send out will be to my internet service provider. I will probably have to post their invitation however, as they have very kindly provided me with their special intermittent service package for the same price as an always-on connection. I have told them that they're being too kind providing me with this exclusive service, but apparently they do it for all of their friends.