End of the World Disturbs Development in the Balkans

And it will do so phased by timelines. For those unfamiliar with the term, people who have been saved will take up to the sky. This is not actually the end of the world, but the beginning of Armageddon, the final battle, which will end exactly five months later with the end of everything.

So, Saturday, 6 pm, stand ready to hitch the ultimate ride. And don’t forget your towel.

Of course, the end of the world has its downsides, too.

Here’s a list of things we will never witness in the Balkans due to massive rapture interference:

1.    Emir Kusturica being declared regent of the new confederation of Republika Srpska-Šumadija;
2.    The congress of a reunited VMRO in Thessaloniki;
3.    Tirana having a new mayor;
4.    Ramush Haradinaj outliving the last possible witness;
5.    Montenegro becoming a major cigarette producer in the European Union without building a single production line;
6.    Elections being suspended in Macedonia and replaced by clicking “Like” on politicians’ Facebook profiles;
7.    United Balkan bankers creating a massive bail-out scheme for Greece in exchange of dropping the name issue with Macedonia;
8.    Corridor 10 being built;
9.    The joint history project of all Balkan countries;
10.    Cheap flights from and to Skopje.

Too bad.